Rahsgirl

Hi everyone! I’ve been a member for a while but haven’t done a lot of posting. Im going through a rough time and could really use some advice … Here it goes..

My husband and I have been together for 4 years we have a 22 month old son who is the light of my life. We live in Los Angeles and all of our family is back in the midwest. When I got pregnant I was just getting started making a name for myself on set doing hair for big budget films and my SO was waiting tables and going after his dream of being an actor. We discussed a plan for what we would do once the baby was born because we have no family here to help and we don’t make enough for nanny,babysitter etc. We decided that I would take a break from working on set and that I would start doing any clients at their home while he would look for a better paying job but continue to go after his acting dream. I have always been very supportive of his dream and agreed that I would stay at home with our son and would schedule my clients before and after he worked. Fast forward to now (almost 2 years later) and he STILL hasn’t found a better job he STILL hasn’t landed any (paying) acting roles and we are financially at rock bottom. Since my son was born I have had to come up with 1/2 the money for everything rent,bills etc And take care of our son 24/7 I have to make $1000 a month to just cover my 1/2 of rent and household bills that doesn’t include my cell phone, insurance, gas groceries etc. If one of my clients would decide they no longer wanted to have their hair done I would be screwed. I’m not able to go get another job or pick up extra hours because I have to take care of our son. His excuse is that if he gets a “9-5” job then he won’t be able to audition as often. He thinks I have no stress and that I have the “luxury” of staying home and scheduling my clients when I want. I have tried to make him see that it’s not a “luxury” it’s a neccity because I can’t take my son with me to work and that if anything I’m DOUBLE stressed because not only am I a SAHM I’m also a working mom because I HAVE to be and I HAVE to make my half of the money. I don’t mind being a team player.. I have told him over and over get a better job that makes more money so we can put our son in day care a couple days a week and then I can work more and help more with the income. We are at the point where living paycheck to paycheck isn’t cutting it… I want to cut our loses and move back closer to our family who can help us with our son so we can be more stable and provide our son with the best life that he deserves. my SO doesn’t want to move cause he doesn’t want to give up on acting.. In my view he is being so selfish it isn’t about him anymore it is about our son now!! This has caused a disconnect between us so large that I’m scared our relationship will never be mended.. I feel I’m close to an emotional breakdown this is not how I wanted my life to be.. I don’t like the person I have become.. When I look at him I feel angry all the time and full of resentment toward him.. I gave up my dream career so he could continue to go after his but he hasn’t done any of the things we talked about..

I guess my question is.. Is it wrong of me to feel that because of our situation he should step up and be responsible for making some more money? I really want to pack up my son and go home to my parents so I can get back on my feet and provide for my son by myself if I have to. He says that I’d be takin our son away from him and he says he wont allow that… But if he is insisting on staying out here in the conditions we are in now I can’t do it anymore. He is a good dad and I don’t want to separate him from our son but if he isn’t going to change things I will have to and the only place I know I can go is home to my parents.

Thank you for reading this and sorry if I rambled on im just so upset and don’t know what to do.. I want to what is best for my sweet little boy who is the only reason I’m still sane right now!! Any thoughts or advice is greatly appreciated!!

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