Jesgarcia

Well ive been married for 8 months now, we were dating for a whole year before, I got pregnant in November of 2011 but found out of my pregnancy on January of 2012. Basically, yesterday I decided to go
through my husbands old Facebook which he deactivated when we got married and I found messages with other girls, during the time we were dating. There were maybe 10 different girls that he was messaging. He would tell them if they wanted to hang out and stuff but the girls wouldn’t want to, my husband isn’t so good looking lol. But there was a message from a chubby girl that did say that they had sex. The girl was saying that she was worried bc they had sex w/o protection and she was late on her period and he asked her if she wanted him to get her the abortion pill and she said she rather wait and see if she gets her period. Also there were messages saying he was on the way to the club and what not.We did not live together, but we were together most of the time. We would have sex all the time, I had a very nice body and I’m a very nice girl. He would always take me to his family’s house and he would bring me around his friends. He would always be very nice and respectful. He would always call me and txt me I basically never expected it from him. Then we found out I was pregnant and he was really happy I was the one freaking out bc I didn’t want to let my father down. He told me he was happy, he went and spoke with my parents, told them we were going to get married and he was going to get an apartment for now. He made all of us so happy. Throughout my whole pregnancy he did not go out, he was always home with me. He would go to all of my dr appointments, and he would actually be happy when he would see the baby on the screen. He formed a bond with my parents, they love him. He never gave me a reason not to trust him. When the baby was born, he was there. Throughout the whole labor, birth and hospital stay; he was there. We were very happy. He was and is great with the baby. He feeds her and changes her. I was so happy. I have never been so happy. Giving birth to a healthy baby girl and having this perfect husband, I felt so lucky. Hes done a lot for me, I will not lie. While pregnant I had a very bad temper and he put up with me. I always had this feeling though, idk how to describe it so when he told me his password to his email account I decided to go through his Facebook just so I could be at peace bc I was expecting to see idk like dumb messages to his friends and maybe girls but not like trying to hang out with them or even sex. It was horrible when i saw the messages, I was imagining everything in my mind. I could see him having sex with the girl. It was very early in the morning, while feeding the baby, that i saw the messages. I woke him up with tears in my eyes and i asked him ” why did you cheat on me?” he did not deny it. He apologized many times, he said he regretted everything. He said that once we got married he changed, he doesn’t want to loose what he has. The whole day felt like we were mourning, all we did was cry, both of us. We talked and he begged for me to stay with him. I did bc of my daughter. I come from a great family, I had both of my parents together while growing up they would never fight in front of me so it was always peaceful and happiness. My daughter deserves the same and more. 3 days later I was just crying and he kept telling me the same stuff, how hes terribly sorry and he loves me and he doesn’t want me to leave him. I told him i was miserable and he said well i don’t want you to be, if you honestly think you will never be happy you can leave. I told him I’m leaving tomorrow, he cried hysterically! I mean he couldn’t even speak bc he was crying so much and he NEVER cries. He was saying that he hated himself for doing what he did and he regrets everything. I felt horrible. Seeing him like that hurt me so much. I guess i knew he sort of loved me? idk so i stayed, again. Hes been good with understanding my trust issues and he calls me all the time when hes not home. But my problem is; why cant i look past it? I understand that it was before marriage and before the baby. But why cant I just be happy?
I just had a baby and we are in the process of getting our own home. Why cant i enjoy that? Why noww? WHY MEEEE?!! I am in so much pain bc to me he was perfect. It haunts me. Even though he says he will never cheat on me again, I cant believe him. He is fake to me. I just want to know what to do, what are yalls opinions on my situation. Im just so lost right now. :,(

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