How To Talk Your Husband into Mediation

How to avoid a divorce battle, save money and retain your dignity at the same time.

You’ve heard the nightmarish divorce stories from your women friends. You already feel hurt and alone and you aren’t interested in any more arguing. And, you aren’t certain if your husband would be willing to consider a stress-free divorce via mediation. Here’s advice from a family law expert on how you can talk your husband into mediation rather than going to divorce court.

The most important thing to remember, however, is to hire a qualified family law attorney. This is especially true if you and your husband have high income and diverse assets such as several properties.

Why? A great divorce attorney — who only specializes in family law — usually has specialized education and experience in mediation and can steer you in the right direction.

Mediation, which is commonly used in civil cases, is increasingly being used in divorce disputes for several reasons. Firstly, mediation is a private matter. All negotiations within the mediation framework are discreet as the court is not involved until the final agreement is settled. For wealthy individuals perhaps with complex business and property arrangements, the privacy aspect of mediation can be reason enough to do it.

Secondly, mediation may seem to cost more money up front, but in the end, this most civil of discussions usually leads to a smaller bill when it comes to lawyer’s fees. This is because mediation is more informal and can be a relatively quick process when compared to going through the normal family court channels.

Mediation does not work if you have two totally different points of view,” says Aaron Dishon, who is a managing partner at the family law firm of Dishon & Block. Dishon, along with several other attorneys in his firm, has earned an advanced degree in alternative dispute resolutions.

Dishon says mediation works best when both parties choose to NOT fight, but to come to resolutions amicably. With the help of lawyers and an arbiter (normally a retired family law judge), the couple can “bridge the gap” and come to resolutions quickly.

It’s about exploring rather than intimidating,” so says Dishon, whose firm has represented thousands of couples in mediation cases. In mediation, says Dishon, wives and husbands have “relatively equal bargaining power” and a voice in the divorce process.

So, can you really talk your husband into mediation?

Spouses may be swayed. Arm yourself with mediation information and by hiring a divorce attorney who specializes in mediation.

“Through divorce mediation,” says Dishon, “we act as neutrals, work as a team and mediate conflicts so it doesn’t reach the litigation stages for such issues as property division, custody matters, legal separations and estate issues.”

Remember, the goal of mediation is to successfully settle disagreements before they become exorbitantly expensive and/or emotionally toxic. Mediations have the potential to stop the damage of divorce, to save money (by speeding up the usually long divorce process) and to keep your divorce for your eyes only.


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Posted on July 13, 2012 by Dishon & Block, Attorneys At Law

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