Butterflybabs

Husband is emotionally cheating with a coworker. My husband and I have been together since we were 15 & 16 yrs old. Together for 16 yrs married for 11 1/2, 2 kids. In july I noticed things were changing. He has a reg cell and a work cell. I noticed he started guarding his work cell. Keeping it on vibrate, not putting it on the counter like he use to. I left one day came home and it was shut off. I turned it bk on after he went to sleep. There was a number on it. I did this cell chk. It was registered to a man so I blew it off. A week later there was the number again so this time I *67 the number and there right on vm was her name. He denied any involvement saying they worked together and were just friends. About 2 wks later caught her calling I confronted her on the phone cause she thought it was my husband. Nothing came from it. Again deny, deny, deny…..
One night in late Sept git into a huge blowout with him and he left. He said some very hurtful mean things that broke me. That night I gps’d his phone. Which btw forgot to mention he was leaving now 30 mins earlier for work for about a month. Within 12 hours he was not on his way to work. He was meeting this women who to me importantly is 15 yrs older than him in a dark parking lot. I waited a week to see if this was a everyday thing. It was. I confronted him. He was caught off guard. He still continued only changed their meeting place. Well a week later a friend of mine told her family. Her husband wants a divorce. But I don’t. I’m trying to work on this. I’ve told him the things he needs to change and effort is there. But now I have no trust!!! Everywhere he is, I think shes there. Now their idiots and text. With our phones. So I monitor it. the chatting n texting has slowed down. But hasn’t stopped. I’ve taken blame for the things I caused to go wrong and I can tell hes feeling guilty for the pain he has caused. But these 2 are like addicted to each other. Im wondering am I crazy for hoping this eventually fizzles out? How to I honestly try to look past this? I feel betrayed, rejected, insecure, broken. Its affecting my daily life my kids I cry all the time. How can I move on so he and I can get bk on the right track?

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