7 First Date Tips for Divorced Dads

Divorced_DateTips Of The Trade

No matter how long you were married, the first date after divorce can be nerve-wracking. You’ve been out of the dating scene for awhile and are probably unsure of the new rules of dating — where to go, what to say, and who pays, among other things. And now that you’re a dad, it’s even more complicated. While there are no hard-and-fast rules, a few general guidelines can help ease your transition from the security of married family life to the uncertainty of being single.

Pay for the Date

The person who does the asking does the paying. Different generations may vary on this unspoken rule, with younger couples being more egalitarian and older couples expecting the man to pay; however, even among the most equal of partners, women appreciate when a man picks up the tab on a first date.

The Ex Factor

Don’t talk about your ex-wife. It’s fine to briefly talk about your past and kids, as they are a big part of who you are, but don’t dwell on the subject. One of women’s biggest turn-offs is hearing a litany of criticisms and complaints about her date’s ex-wife.

Don’t Include the Kids

Keep your kids separate. Don’t introduce your kids to a woman until she becomes a steady fixture in your life for six months or more. Children of divorce need stability in their life, not a constant procession of girlfriends.

Find Out Her Interests

Ask her questions. People love to talk about themselves and the easiest way to be a great date is ask about her interests and hobbies. Try to find common ground. Maybe you’ve vacationed in the same place or have read the same books. Discussing current events is a good place to start, but avoid talking about politics.

Update Your Wardrobe

Be well-groomed. If it’s been awhile since you’ve seen the Men’s Department, it’s time for a re-visit. Wear up-to-date clothes–no concert shirts from the 1980s–and shower, trim your nails, shave and add a touch of cologne or aftershave. Don’t overdo the fragrance–a dab is enough.

No Cell Phones

Leave your cell phone in the car or turn it off. Unless you are a physician or have young children at home, there is no need to bring your cell phone on a date. Women are annoyed by men who take calls or text while on a date.

Look at Online Dating Services

If you’re looking for that first date, explore the world of online dating. Busy men and woman–especially parents–find online dating to be an effective way to meet new people. You can narrow your search by age, location, interests, and other factors. Many online dating services also offer discussion boards and dating tips.

About The Author

Cindy Lobert has been a professional writer since 1986. While her background is primarily in advertising copywriting, she has also published work for national magazines such as “Women’s World” and “Louisiana Life.” Lobert graduated from Michigan State University with a Bachelor of Arts in communications.

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